binahyeseira:
“how he treats you is most important, but what helps marriage is when feel appreciated and loved, and somehow chocolate and flowers speak very eloquently.”
I’m with you until the second comma. Again, why does love and appreciation have to expressed through all these gifts? The only thing this shows is that he’s got money to spend, not that he cares about you in slightest.
“if you are a girl, i think you would understand without me explaining.”
And if you were a guy, you would understand what we’re saying on the “shidduchim and weight” topic. But I’m not a girl, and I don’t see how chocolate and flowers show you anything but the guy’s finances, and certainly not his deepest feelings. Sounds pretty shallow to me. (Which, as I was pointed out before, is exactly the type of thing that everybody was bashing on the “shidduchim and weight” topic.
“according to rav Dessler – ahavah increases through giving, so by husband giving to wife, it increases his love for her.”
Then shouldn’t she be getting him chocolate and flowers too?