I think you shouldn’t be so hard on yourself because “you aren’t living up to your name.” First of all, nobody is Chayav in all 613 mitzvot. Secondly, everyone is chayav in all of the mitzvot that are relevant to them, equally. So you’re name doesn’t make you anymore responsible than anybody else (take that as a good or bad thing). With that said, nobody is perfect. Most people are far from it. The only thing you can ask from yourself is to keep trying your hardest, always. Goals are supposed to increase your inspiration and devotion, not depress you into giving up. You’ll get where you’re supposed to be, just keep trying.
This applies to adorable’s thread before also I guess.
Sorry if that was a lot of stream of consciousness; I hope it helps.