Reply To: "Prayer" on behalf of Shidduch-seekers in pain

adorable: I feel for your pain very keenly and I am really at a loss for wise counsel to give you, other than to repeat what Rav Zecharya Gelley Shlita once told me to accept this difficult process as L’Fum Tzara Agrah, (according to your pain in doing a Mitzvah, your reward is accordingly great). Since getting married is a Mitzvah, so the Shidduch process is a Hechsher Mitzva (preparation for a Mitzvah) and therefore the greater your pain, the greater is your reward. Hopefully this perspective this will enable you to see the opportunity that Hashem gives you to come close to Him through your (painful) process, by trying to do the Mitzvah with Simcha – which raises a person to a high level, especially when it is ever so difficult. Remember that Hashem tests those that are beloved to Him.

Don’t let anyone tell you “your Nisayon is not really so hard – look at the much more difficult Nisayonos others go through (e.g. sick children R”L)”. Nonsense. Your Nisayon is truly a test and it is really difficult and Hashem Yisborach, for whatever reason known to Him only (for your eternal reward) wants it to be difficult for you, but at the same time Hashem wants you to accept this Nisayon B’Simcha. Having this attitude will bring you close to Hashem and maybe (I can’t say this with any real authority), this might shorten your test period. I could tell you all the pain I am going through with divorce and not being even able to look for a new Shidduch any time soon since my ex-wife (who I gave a Get to when she wanted it) makes it so hard for me to get my civil divorce, but I don’t suppose my problems are a Nechama to you (if they are – Kol HaKavod!).

May Hashem give you the strength to approach your Nisayon and (Hechsher) Mitzvah process with Simcha and to bring you the ultimate Yeshuah of bringing your true Zivug very soon.