My point exactly, depending who your speaking to, depending how they would react if they found out what you know, depending if halachacly or according to your Rav it is your place to say or not…..it all depends on the case. So some answers are “I don’t know them well enough” some answers may be “fine people, excellent boy or girl….” and some answers might be “its not shayach for you”. It all depends on “who, what, where, how” who they are, what they’re looking for, where they are holding hashkafa-wise, and how they would react and handle the information.
I don’t have a crystal ball, I am not clairvoyant, I don’t take on the responsibility, I am not playing G-d, I do the best I can and hope Hashem puts the right answers in my head. I don’t encourage a shidduch that I think will be problematic and I don’t discourage a shidduch that might work even though there were past issues if I don’t know who the people are and don’t know whether they can handle the information or not. Who am I to judge or decide that these people will be so shallow that they can’t deal with it? In addition, who am I to believe that I am so choshuv to be the one to disclose information that should be handled by a Rav or the person themselves? And what right do I have to spread L”H?
YUP, it is a fine line to walk and it is definitely a difficult balancing act. I wish everyone hatzlocha as they go through this nisayon and of course everyone hatzlocha in being zoche to make shidduchim.