chalilavchas, you hold them accountable and responsible for their actions. Firstly for waiting until the child got to that point before working with the child and addressing the issues. Secondly for assuming the fault and blame is with the parents and child and not doing a din v’chesbon on their own accountability and thirdly by holding them accountable for throwing the children out like garbage and not working with them and their parents or finding them a suitable transfer. Yeshivas who have been kicking kids out for minor infractions for years have not made their point at all. They are still kicking the kids out for the same minor infractions. Talking or texting to kids of the opposite sex should not warrant the ruination of the rest of their lives and the Rosh should NOT play G-d with their lives.
ALL yeshivas should have Guidance Counselors, even if they have to ask for volunteers from the community. Even if they have to ask for retired professionals to come in, or others who can give of themselves one day a week. Divide the students among the volunteers, but students need the ability to speak to someone in confidence. Students need the ability to have someone to discuss things with especially if they are feeling badly about themselves or a situation they don’t know how to handle. And consequences should fit the crime. You don’t ruin a child’s life for breaking the rules. There should be very good reason for throwing a kid out with no place to go. All those that do so will have to give a din v’chesbon to Hashem for all the lives they ruined. It is not so simple the achrius they own.