zahavasdad, the gift usually goes to the young couple or the bar mitzva boy, so you covering your plate doesn’t help the parents. People want guests at their simcha. the guests enhance a simcha so gifts should not be a requirement. years ago gifts were given to help a couple begin a new life because many couldn’t afford to buy the basics. today most parents set up their children with the necessities. Unfortunately we have held on to the gift giving requirement. Ka”h today, most people go to many many simchos a year so the gift giving has become very costly.
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