bombmaniac – its your choice but I think you are letting your anger cloud your perception. Firstly to say nobody applies a stigma to kolel guys is patently wrong. Probably most frum families in NY wouldnt consider a kolel guy – they may just not be your circle.
Secondly, as I have tried explaining patiently, not doing a shidduch with a BT is usually NOT ABOUT STIGMA BUT ABOUT TRYING TO CREATE A HARMONIOUS RELATIONSHIP uncomplicated by strong differences in upbringing.
But hey – it’s up to you. If you prefer – don’t let up, stay angry at the system and make sure true facts don’t get in your way.