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Chazal say, “Derech eretz kadma LaTorah.” This is not to say that we should all abandon our Yeshivos and study halls and enrol in finishing schools. But if our Torah study and observance is not accompanied by, and proceeded by, proper attention to our character and the way we deal with others, then it calls our study and our motives into question.
Rabbi Chaim Vital asks: If derech eretz is so important, why doesn’t the Torah address it by making it a mitzvah (one of the 613 mitzvos) to have good manners and work on one’s character? He answers: Were derech eretz to be a mitzvah, it would imply that it’s a mitzvah just like all the other mitzvos. In truth, it’s much more. It’s a precondition to observing the Torah – a person lacking in basic mentschlichkeit can’t even begin to study and connect with the Torah!