Reply To: How to motivate a spouse

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#791888
abcd2
Participant

Why has no one suggested that before the wife tells him about divorce, that she should bring up contemplating divorce with her Rav or their Rav. If it is a real Rav The Rav in this situation would even be willing to make a house call to speak to the husband directly,as to what his wife is contemplating.

I know of a similar situation as described here, and once the Rabbi came to the couples house to speak to the husband directly about his wife saying marriage break up being an option things things started to change for the better As, the husband could not believe that it was so serious that his wife spoke directly to his Rebbe about how bad it was that he made a house call .There is definitely a difference between telling someone gently to get a job or help out more and being told a second time in a harsh manner.

Think of the famous story where the husband was not helping in the house and the wife complained to Rav Gifter ZTL, and Rav Gifter ZTL showed up to his talmids house the next day to take out the garbage.The talmid never refused housework again.

B)We have no idea what other mitigating factors might be present except for what has been presented here.To suggest divorce without all known facts is ludicrous.

c)I am sure at this juncture even the friend (nachas)is not fully aware, and is contemplating all after the opening thread,one week ago. Notice,there have been NO FOLLOW UPS. This is a very serious topic to give anything but constructive advice at this point with all the information that we know of (merely from a paragraph)is irresponsible.A family in distress is like a sick patient. A doctor would never suggest such drastic measures for a patient simply from a paragraph that they read about the case.