My 2 cents – They both need to go to marriage therapy ASAP. He might need his own therapy and to see a Psychiatrist.
My bewilderment is that so many posters are saying divorce him. Now I know my case isn’t one in a million. How can any of you tell s/o else what is good for them, esp. the ones who are younger? What credentials do you have to Judge up what is best for both of them? Let’s say this women listens to all your advice and gets divorced and goes OTD. Do you think you have done a Mitzva or a Big Aveira with your advice? Divorce is only indicated when a professional therapist says this is the only way to go – as a last resort!