PBA – “Health: You really think you’d rather be your age and single than divorced with kids?”
The problem with your way of thinking is this – it has to be one or the other. Either divorced with kids or single. Perhaps if the Soton wouldn’t have laid a trap with these people who told lie after lie and the divorcee wouldn’t have fallen in, perhaps he/she could be happily married with kids to s/o else.
Let me explain you something -the Torah says “Lifnei Ever Lo Ceetain Michsol”. Why not? If Hashem wants he will trip and get up again. In other words no damage will come to him either physically or spiritually, so why is it Ossur? The answer is because a lot of people aren’t on the Madreiga to withstand Nisyonos. So if this Nisoyon would never have occured they wouldn’t have ended in the mud! A person has that Bechira to reject being the Shaliach. We see that by the Army General who was supposed to destroy the Bais Hamikdash.
Some Meforshim explain why Sodom had to be destroyed in this world as opposed to letting them lead out their lives like everyone else and then get judged up. Many people in this world don’t keep Bain Odom L’chaveiro just like the Sodomites and Hashem doesn’t destroy them right away. They answer is like this -If a poor person came to do the door collecting, they didn’t just tell them -I don’t want to give -they said it’s Bashert for you to be poor. This type of attitude has to be destroyed right away. Hashem has his Chesbonos why he does certain things, but us who live in this world have to do what we are supposed to do anyway.
People Redding Shidduchim sometimes make the same Chesbonos – Oh I don’t have to tell him/her basic stuff -if it’s Bashert it will work out, if not, not! People aren’t allowed to lie or do Geneivas Daas on major things that will make a difference in the marriage.
If your relative would come here and post his opinion, then fine. He has the right to argue with my opinion- being he has gone through the same thing. But you and others who have Not gone through this – who gave you the right to speak for those whom are living this Gehinom?!?!