Reply To: Eating disorders…

Jam-OMG I feel for you! It can be so frustrating to try to talk to someone with anorexia and they just don’t believe you! Its also really frustrating for them because they just can’t change it and most of the time giving them speeches just makes it worse. First of all, professional help is crucial. If she’s not getting any professional help it can result in DEATH. Its a life-threatening sickness if not treated (sometimes even while being treated). Its a long, tough road but she MUST get the help.

As for what you should say, NEVER lecture her about food and weight loss. You can tell her that she looks good but don’t even say anything about loosing or gaining weight because either way she’ll take it to the next step and loose more. Try to encourage her to eat but understand that it is a HUGE challenge. Compliment her on her achievements (when she eats) even on the tiniest, most insignificant thing (that is seems for you) because it is really a major thing for her. If YWN would allow, it would be great to get in touch with her. Maybe the mods can give you my email and you give it to her? Also, tell her to do research on it. She might see how dangerous it is and really go for help. Also tell her about the mirror thingy and explain that she’s not seeing the real picture. People who are skinny can think they’re fat, people who are fat can think they’re skinny and some people actually have the correct perception. Tell her that! Encourage her to battle it and there are things I’d say that I learned in therapy:

there is a critic in her and the real her-2 separate things. The CRITIC is what’s saying “starve, your fat, your bad…” and the real her must realize that the critic is a SEPARATE voice and is NOT her. Every time she feels like starving, let her realize which voice it is. Let her know that she CAN ignore that critic that wants her to think the world is bad and she is bad, etc.

Kj-Yes, that’s part of the problem. At times I don’t want to get better because in my (distorted) eyes that means I’ll be FAT! Its a VERY complex disease. I just WISH we can stop and prevent it in our communities! Btw I deny that I’m anorexic many times because my claim is that fat people can’t be anorexic LOL

btw 90-95% of anorexics are girls (I did some research)

and hugs-its kinda scary that you’re fasting 😉