“I still feel that in most cases, there should be some kind of compromise, whether it is calling the MIL “Ma” if one simply cannot bring herself to say Mom, and once the kids come along, you can say Bubby. If it means something to the MIL, then the one second it takes to utter the word once or twice in a while should not kill a person, even if they philosophically want to hold onto the “she’s not my mother” idea.”
Oomis, I really disagree. I think all the terms of “mother” are sacred to MY mother. If a DIL is that against calling her MIL by one of those names, then the MIL should concetrate on their relationship, not title.
I usually refer to my husband as “my husband” when talking to people who aren’t really familiar with him.