Azois – “1- the house should be only on name of my blood relative, not spouse
2- if they sell the house (to move out of the state or country, for instance), I get back the down payment.”
I don’t know why you’re making such an issue. Put the house in your kid’s name or keep it in your name and take the rent to pay for the down payment and mortgage. If you insist on your #2, even if your kid agrees, your kid might not want to argue with his/hers spouse about it, if that what ends up occuring. So definitely in this case keep the house in your name.
I tend to agree with the other posters about some underlying issues. I think you have Taanos and that’s why you came here to let off steam. One thing I’ll tell you – a favor with strings attached is No favor. Either do the Toivah/Chessed wholeheartedly, or don’t do it at all!