It sounds like you’re the first husband. I don’t know what her experience was like with the first husband (I doubt he was as perfect as you perceive; no one is). She obviously needs to let go, at least for the sake of the children. Whether he was evil or not, the longer she tries to influence the kids to perceive him as such, the more damaged they will be with their perceptions of marriage and the viability of choosing an appropriate spouse. She needs to keep her issues as her own. Unless he is a truly abusive neglectful spouse, the kids would be more enriched to have a relationship with him. If he is a potential source of harm to them, even in his attitude towards life, then she may be justified in working to keep them sheltered and apart from him. only a therapist or mediator could make such an accurate assessment. You’re perception of her is as extreme as her perception of her first husband.
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