Regarding the Kiruv Krovim issue:
I do not think that this stems from “our need to be seen as the epitome of perfection”. I think that the frum community is uncomfortable and unaccustomed to dealing with these issues. I think they don’t know how to. I think there aren’t enough people stepping up to educate the parents and fight to implement Yiddishkeit 101 studies into the school system.
Ever wonder how come Kiruv is so successful these days? Ever think about what might happen if yiddishkeit is presented to the FFB’s similar to how it’s taught in Kiruv Seminaries/yeshivos?
They teach you the why’s not just the how’s about yiddishkeit. They teach you the ABC’s of hashkafa; instead of expecting you to magically know it at birth. They focus on developing a meaningful, PERSONAL connection with Hashem and His Mitzvos. They encourage you to ask and understand and wonder.
And nobody wants to go there.