kapusta
I delayed answering because I wanted to make sure that I respond with sensitivity to you and your trying situation.
Please be mochel me if this does not come across.
“its very uncomfortable when I need to answer you.”
No, you don’t need to answer. It’s nobody’s business but your own.
But you DO need to come up with ready responses in advance.
I have a relative in her fifties who has a sense of humor up to a point. After being sensitive about this issue for so long, she decided that she’s going to make sure that she won’t be on the receiving end of ridiculous comments and turns the table on them by developing this basic repertoire:
Q: What does your husband do?
A: (looks them straight in the eye) I don’t have one. (the other starts squirming and apologizing)
Q: Where does your husband daven?
A:(looks them straight in the eye)I don’t have one. (the other starts squirming and apologizing)
Sometimes she’ll add a “yet” at the end if she doesn’t totally want them to feel bad.
Q: When are you due? (her stomach protrudes)
A1: Don’t worry, I’ll make sure you’re one of the first to know.
A2: After you.
A3: I’ve been carrying this for over a year now.
I could tell you more, but you would plotz at some things people ask.
Keep in mind that many people SINCERELY wish you well, as I’m sure all of us here in the CR do.