Reply To: Need a push

I would say this is a shaylas chocham(ah). Obviously davening to you is not just simply mumbling words under your breath. How can you expect to push yourself to daven when you still have questions hovering around in the back of your mind. Instead you should be proud of yourself that you are true to your heart (this is called tocho k’boro) and instead focus your energy on learning seforim that will answer your questions.