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popa_bar_abba, I think the right answer should be that I want to daven so that I can have a closer connection to G-d. But I’m not sure that’s the reason I want to daven. I just feel like I NEED to because it’s the right thing to do, just like I make a bracha before eating or wash my hands before eating bread, or like I don’t turn on the computer on shabbos.
mikehall12382, thanks so much :). I’ll check it out.
kapusta, I guess that’s really the problem. When I don’t daven and things don’t go right, I can blame myself because I didn’t daven for a good day, so what can I expect? But when I DO daven, and things go bad, the one I blame is G-d. I know that’s wrong and things happen for a reason, even if we don’t understand, but I still feel hesitiant. I feel I’m being selfish because there are people who go through horrific things, and I shouldn’t complain.
Derech HaMelech, I’m trying to find shiurim online about the importance of tefila. Just need to find the time to listen to them!
I feel a little embarrased that I’m struggling with this issue. It seems something teens go through and by the time they reach my age they have it figured out (I was the exact opposite as a teen–I was very strong in my beliefs). Guess that’s what I get for pushing aside the issue this long.
Also, I davened a bit this morning. I didn’t feel any different. I wanted to feel better, closer to G-d, but…nothing. The one thing I did feel was proud that I promised myself I’d do it, and I did it.