R Avrohom Blumenkranz z”l would bring his own meals to chasunas so as not to be ????? the ???? ?????. He also said that he did not impose some of his chumras on the rest of his family.
Watch R Reisman at a simcha and you’ll see that he’ll just barely eat, if at all.
Being machmir on oneself is a great level; being matriach another is something else.