photogenic, the yetzer horah will rear his ugly head any opportunity he has. That said, understand that the dating process is supposed to a private issue. The less you discuss with others and the more you keep it “private” the more successful it is. Friend don’t mean to mix you up and steer you in the wrong direction, they just can’t help themselves. They mean well, but somehow they don’t realize that what they say even as a joke has way too much intention and meaning to the person who is dating. For instance, when my daughter was dating her married friends kept telling her how head over heels in-love they were with their husbands and my daughter just didn’t feel that way. She was so confused she was almost ready to give up on her date/boyfriend/shidduch. She claimed he was way ahead of her. When she finally spoke to me, her stupid mother, I finally had the opportunity to tell her that speaking to her friends was throwing her off. Of course they were so in love with their “husbands” that they hear bells and whistles go off and see fireworks. Thats because they are already married and they have established a relationship where they each do for the other. But when they got engaged they were just very much in “like” with their chosson. That was a big difference that they forgot to mention to you. Love comes after the engagement when you spend more time together and you start doing things for each other; and you get to see each other’s generosity, compassion, warmth, kindness, etc. All the amazing qualities that you use for each other’s benefit. That’s how love grows.
On the other hand, her single friends didn’t realize that subconsciously they were also ruining her relationships with the “nerd” factor and other comments they were making because they were subconsciously sabotaging her because they wanted to get married first.
Once she realized that she should have chosen one person to speak to like her mother, or a teacher who was married and could listen without being in “la la land” but truly listen to what she was thinking and feeling, she allowed herself to relax and get in touch with her own thoughts and emotions. Those that had nothing to do with what her friends told her to feel and expect. It didn’t take her long to realize that she was actually on the same page as what turned out to be her husband.