“It’s true. They are not afraid of me. I’m not thrilled with the idea of potching. I’ve done it in the past, only to feel horrible afterwards. I need to find ways of motivating them without hurting them. I always thought I’d potch only for dangerous behavior like touching a stove, etc., but now I find myself wanting to potch for repeatedly not listening and chutzpah.”
Then your kids’ sleeplessness is the least of your problems. Don’t think you’re wiser than Shlomo Hamelech: ???? ???? ???? ???. Chutzpah and lying should be punishable by petch. If your kids know that you have this option, you won’t have to potch too much. I’ve potched my kids no more than several times in their life, but they know it’s a weapon in my arsenal. If you feel horrible, you need help. Perhaps you’ve read too much Dr. Spock and his ilk. Read – no, LEARN – The Delicate Balance, by S. Ch. Radcliffe, for a sensible, Torahdik approach to chinuch.