ok, so there’s nothing posted as yet from your OP from over an hour ago, so I apologize in advance if I may be repeating anyone…
Firstly, it’s great that you wish to improve the relationship and didn’t take the “easy” way out by giving up.
“No cursing, no stupid faces, less yelling,… no namecalling, no speaking behind each others back”
THIS NEVER, EVER BELONGS IN ANY good relationship, and certainly not with your parent.
Perhaps writing a heartfelt, respectful letter may go a long way.
-Use I statements i.e., I feel bad the way we are currently relating..NEVER say that she does such&such for that would put her on the defensive (and “just turn the tables”)and you won’t resolve the issue. Learn this important communication skill and you’ll be”H see that your mother will be able to “just hear me out once in a while”
-Write what you’d like the relationship to look like
-Include specifically what you need from her:
*Please notice and encourage me when I help around the house; it will make me feel good and encourage me to continue cleaning!
* Please give me five minutes of your undivided attention from 6PM to 6:05pm
* Please calmly tell me what you think I am doing wrong-it feels to me as if I am told off “for doing NOTHING!”
Is it possible that your mother interrupts you because she hears a condescending or negative tone in your voice? Remember, most communication is non-verbal and she’d be experiencing the interchange as uncomfortable.
Hatzlacha