stuck –
She may be a Jew from birth. Or possibly more likely, she’s lying about being adopted.
cinderella –
I know my advice is a bit “different,” but hear me out.
I sometimes wonder about doing “kiruv” with kids. Sure, kids are impressionable, and some are deep thinkers, but most are still growing up, and that means that they are making a lot of decisions in life based on feelings and they don’t really have much of an identity yet. You say that it must be she believes in something deep down or she wouldn’t some. Maybe you’re right. But it’s strange considering her attitude, right? Well maybe she doesn’t have any beliefs deep down. Maybe she comes because she has a place where she’s taken seriously, where someone listens to what she has to say and treats her like a person. Someone who cares about her enough to try to convince her of things – something she doesn’t get from her parents who neglect her. Maybe that’s why she says she’s adopted, but is so sure she’s Jewish. She knows she isn’t adopted, but she has issues with her parents, so she invents this fantasy. This is a girl, who, more than needing a kiruv mentor, needs a friend and some serious counseling. Personally, my advice to you – if you feel that what I say is an accurate summation of the facts – would be to say to her straight up: “You know what? Let’s forget about religion today. I’m your friend, let’s just talk about life.” Become her counselor, establish a rapport. Guide her away from doing things she’ll regret with her boyfriend – but don’t bring religion into it. Even if you never discuss religion, you are doing a wonderful thing. Because as a kid in her state, in my opinion to talk religion is worse than pointless. But to be her friend and counselor, that is something she’ll always have fond memories of, and when she’s 18 years old and actually trying to figure out life she’ll think back to the memories of her wonderful religious friend and maybe it’ll push her to start searching in that direction.