cinderalla- ive worked extensively with kids who arent frum or think they are but dont care to put on tfillin ie theyre not. the first thing you have to establish here is: what role are you playing now? parent? or friend?at this point it doesnt matter too much but it will later. all you can do in this sitch is to keep listening, regardless of the topic, because right now its about building a positive, healthy relationship. DON’T push anything ie torah, stories about gedolim etc.; thats not what she needs. she needs someone who is gonna listen to her and love her. and in regard to the spiritual pitfalls she is in middle of now, i know this sounds nuts but in the big picture it doesnt matter. what matters is in 10 years if because of you she’ll be keeping mikva, and the dangers now are the small picture. just love, dont press, dont judge, be there for her. DON’T press. she didnt ask for a mashgiach.
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