someone said something earlier about the authour controlling the novel…i dont find that to be true. when i write a story i have absolutely no idea whats gonna happen next. the characters “tell me” what they want to do and i sort of just enable them to do what they want. plots write themselves…i feel like a mere conduit for the expression of the story. i have very little control over what i write and i find that when i try to exercise control over my characters they rebel and the story just flops.
as far as perfection goes…writing cant be forced. it needs to be OF you. it needs to be an absolute expression of what you are feeling at the moment. your passion. your ideals. your excitement. grammar be darned! whatever you feel, just vomit it all down on paper or Word or whatever youre writing with. you can sort it all out later. NEVER waste time on grammar when youre writing the original manuscript. the most important thing is to let your story be written; editing comes afterward. remember…the story is the iddur, the grammar is the taful. always edit later.
as for being ashamed of showing other people your work…i understand. it took me a while until i felt comfortable showing rough drafts to my friends but now im fine with it. i even ask them for help proofreading, and offering opinions about what ive written. i understand why youre uncomfortable. writers pour themselves…every ounce of themselves into their writing and its hard to open that up to others unless you feel its perfect. just find someone you trust implicitly and share with them. it will get easier to share with others.