mdd– Obviously one is never exempt from keeping any mitzvos — that is not my point. No one is perfect, and of course there is a din v’cheshbon for everything someone does. Only Hashem knows what you could have/ should have done, and what any individual’s reward/ punishment should be. My point is that Kiruv does not require hiding the fact that you make mistakes. I am not condoning those mistakes — I am saying that there is no need to pretend to be perfect if you are not.
Just to be clear, back to my example. It is 100% assur to dress in a way that is not in accordance with Halacha. Someone who dresses this way will be judged by Hashem, Who knows all the factors, motivations, circumstances, etc. and will reward/ punish accordingly. Someone who is not keeping this Halacha is WRONG. HOWEVER, if you are in this situation, and you are involved in Kiruv, I believe (and my limited experience has shown) that pretending you are perfect is not a better kiruv technique then sharing your own struggles in avodas Hashem.
As far as your question with regard to Chillul Hashem I’m not sure how it connects. Any time a person does an aveira (stealing and immorality are both aveiros), he creates a Chillul Hashem. If this aveira is done intentionally and in public (or it becomes known publicly), particularly if it is in front of a minyan of Jews, it becomes a Chillul Hashem B’farhesiya — a public Chillul Hashem, which is an additional aveira besides the original aveira that he committed. Whether there are mitigating factors, taavos, etc. that affect this individual’s “nekudas habichirah” is Hashem’s cheshbon. The actions however, are still wrong. This Chillul Hashem exists whether the person committing the aveira is a Rabbi or an apikorus — the public, intentional performance of an aveira by a Jew is a Chillul Hashem.
Similarly a person without a knowledge of Halacha who does an aveira is still doing the wrong thing. Whether or not he is completely accountable for that action is a separate issue; we are not the ones keeping the accounts, and Hashem will determine for each person what the ta’anas against him are.