As someone previously mentioned (sorry, i read almost all the posts and too lazy to go back and check who it was) a shadchan is not a prefessional, they are volunteers. VOLUNTEERS. What is a volunteer? Last i checked a volunteer was someone who donated their time/efforts for free. I’m not saying a shadchan shouldnt be paid, i just think this is outrageous and ridiculous (and alot more that i wont and cant mention).
And what if a girl does shell out the money, and doesnt get married for a few years, c”v, why is she paying more? Shouldnt she get a portion of her money back? wouldnt a shadchan work harder so that he/she doesnt earn less?
I try to make shidduchim on my own time. I’ve made calls overseas, i’ve been insulted and put down, but i never even thought about the money. If someone went out a few times, i would try to imagine hw much they’d give and what i could do with it, but i would never demand! And even though b”h our bills are growing with our family, i still would not demand anything! most people give anyway. and what they give is what they can afford adn it means more than forcing someone to pay what they cannot!