“Would I (we) have done this, let alone for another Yid which there is a mitzvah of chesed to??? “
I suggest that here lies part of the problem. Instead of intuitively realizing that we should be kind and considerate to all people, we start our lumdishe chakiros as to whom is it really a chiyuv to treat nicely?
There is no need to be embarrassed . Treat everyone with respect and consideration, Jewish or not.