No matter how bad things are, I suggest both of you try a little harder. And it is for these reasons: There was a time when you two were obviously very close. Added to that is the fact it is expected after years of marriage and children, that two people can drift apart. That is part of what is to be expected in this, or in the event of where people remarry. It is better to deal with this great difficulty now in this marriage because getting out without leaving no stone unturned does not mean this sort of thing does not have to be dealt with in another, more complicated relationship.
I suggest therapy, but it is said individual therapy empowers the person paying for the session, so beware. Try to work it out between the two of you to regain the connection the two of you had. Individuals need guidance on how to mature with each other. There may be personal things going on that affect each of your roles with each other.
In regard to the title of your post, I would suggest that perhaps you are not feeling it is the right time, or you would proceed. So, get as much rest as you can, try to eat well, exercise (I am serious) dont isolate, daven, and try to work with your spouse.
Hatzlacha!!!!!!