There is a book – How to improve your marriage without talking about it : finding love beyond words / Patricia Love, Steven Stosny. Some say it’s an eye-opener.
That said I’ve seen great many divorces. Please believe me when I say it – it is definitely easier to save what you have than to build something new on the ruins. Because the break-up doesn’t give you a clean lease on new beginning. Ruins are always there.
We tend to notice bad things. Naturally. But when a person finds himself in a second marriage, it is inevitable that once in a while he would think: “My previous spouse did this and that (or didn’t do this or that) and it was so nice.” Learn to notice good things while you have them.
Unless you wife has a serious psychiatric (not psychological) problems, I would advise to do everything in your power to save this marriage. Not even for your kids. For your own sake.
I know a woman (not religious, but conservative enough) who is currently married to her third husband. She was the initiator of both her divorces. Her first marriage lasted 9 years, second – 2 years, and the third is over 25 and still going. She has a daughter from her first marriage who had a very hard time adjusting to new “daddies.” After the woman lived with her third husband for a number of years, she told her daughter that if she had known how it would be with other husbands, she would have never divorced her father in the first place. Her last marriage looks most successful (over 25 years vs 9 and 2) not because she found the perfect husband, but because she realized that there is no such thing.
Hatzlachah and lots of koyach to you.