Working on it,
What are your wife’s feelings? Does she think that your marriage is on the ropes? Is she talking divorce too? I used to think that my wife and I were headed in that direction based on the way she talked to me and treated me. One day she noticed (from the web browser history) that I was looking at sites about preventing a divorce. She got a lot nicer. My point is that many women talk very emotionally and either are not in control of what they say or they do not understand how their emotionally charged words are interpreted. Like aries said above, read the Mars & Venus book.
I really see aries’ point that women “are frightened when their husbands don’t bring in enough income to cover the bills.” I’ve been w/o real employment for a couple years now, and it’s been really hard. B”H my wife has a good job (pays the bills), but it’s still stressful. Does your wife understand the nature of your business? Can she help? OTOH, if it will take a long time to make real money, then maybe you should switch businesses. Your parnassah is for living. If it does not help you live, then find one that will.
I have to agree that one home on low income is better than two homes on half a low income each. Does she know and consider this?
If you have verbal fights, you should set some ground rules, like no fighting or yelling in front of the kids. That frightens them. One thing I tell my friends who are new parents is that it’s not about them anymore. You have more important things to take care of.
BTW, what do they always say is always your fault? Do they have a point? Is there something that you can do that would make her a little happier?