Working on it,
I don’t want to say I know what you’re going through because nobody ever fully understands someone else’s issues but I can say that I went through a very rough time in my marriage that lasted two of the three years I am married. Baruch Hashem, we were able to get through it and we are very happy now. I was at a point where I had no doubt I was going to get divorced and I almost can’t believe I am here saying that we got through it.
The reason I am saying all of this is because I want you to know that Hashem is always there for you and has your best interests in mind. You’re going through a rough patch and that’s what Hashem wants but he does NOT want you to give up. I always quote my Rebbe from my yeshiva in Eretz Yisrael who said “if people knew how hard their second marriage would be, they would never end their first one.” As someone posted before, getting remarried and being happy may be harder than fixing your present marriage.
What I can suggest and what worked for my wife and I was speaking to a Rebbe who is an expert in the area. Regular professional therapy was expensive and did not work. When you speak to someone who is a gadol in torah and has tremendous yiras shomayim, you automatically tend to listen to him. The therapy with him did not cost anything and provided us with one of the most valuable things anyone can ask for – a happy marriage. I would never say it came without work – it was a lot of work on both of our parts but now I always say, you can always stay married to anyone as long as you are both willing to work on it. You just both have to be adults and have the ability to admit your faults and work on them because I promise you both of you have faults. It’s not just her and it’s not just you.
I really hope this helps you and I just want to say that we are all sharing in your pain and hope that it will turn out for the best. Hatzlacha Raba and may Hashem help you in this tremendous Nisayon.