I will add my two cents because based on the description of the wife’s job, I have a similar job and can relate. If my husband makes calculations of how much I can earn if I worked more and more hours, I feel very resentful.
a) Is my worth based on how much I can earn instead of the person I am?
b)There are other factors to consider besides money multiplied by hours. I don’t want to come home from work minutes before my kids with no energy. I know it’s cheaper to higher more cleaning help and work more hours instead of working less and doing more housework but I want to run this house the way I feel works for me instead of dealing with a strangers way of putting things away, etc.
c) This one’s the bomber but it’s true. If I wanted to work full time I would have married a kollel guy and have the respect and sense of loftiness of supporting a learning husband. I knew that having the burden of parnassah on top of having and raising kids wouldn’t work for me so I purposely married a working guy. Now I should work full time too? That’s not why I chose a working guy.
d) Having a degree enables me to work part time and come home with more money than a secratary job would yield. That doesn’t mean I should work as many hours as possible, it simply maked the supplement income easier to earn.
That being said, I think the wife should be understanding of the tremendous pressure the husband is under trying to earn parnassah. A simple but sincere expression of appreciation for the efforts put in trying to support the family comfortably would go a long way. Asking for vacations when the money is tight is being oblivious to the facts on the ground. There are many ways for a couple to spend quality time together withough spending a lot.