WOI: You have decided you are correct, and therefore are looking for an excuse why everyone else thinks you are wrong. You found it: it must be because automatically everyone blames the man. That is not true at all.
Perhaps she is pushing you to earn more money, because you are pushing her to earn more. It’s not her responsibility no matter what her potential to earn is. The only thing she should be responsible for is paying back the loans for her masters (unless you were the one to push her to do it).
Now let’s see. Your expenses are $6000 a month + other expenses, so something like $7000 a month. Her earnings are somewhere like $2400 before taxes ($60x10x4), after taxes should be something like 25% of monthly expenses which is $1750, which is what you state you want.
There is a quote: If two people tell you you are drunk, you should lie down. I came to my (incorrect) conclusion because of the pressure it seems you are putting on your wife, and you went to 4 therapists (spent thousands by them) and they all told you it’s your fault. Sorry, while I can’t possibly know the full story, and all these therapists may be idiots (who just blame the man for everything), it is highly unlikely especially since you are highly articulate, and you could clearly express what is going on (not everyone can do that), so even if initially they thought you are wrong (since you’re a man – highly doubtful though), you should have been able to explain the situation well enough.
Hatzlacha rabba