-If the recipient(s) not only do not acknowledge your efforts but actually give you grief, then you need to reevaluate if perhaps your energies are better used elsewhere.
Something happened a few days ago where I went out of my way to help someone and I felt very used. I decided exactly as you wrote, that if it bothers me so much, its better not to do it at all. But it’s still my problem. I was bothered by what she did, but if it wouldn’t bother me, I would still be doing the Chessed. (That was a question in statement form)
Also, i while reading your post i kept thinking… does Hashem have the same question for us?
Like they say, the truth hurts. Thank you for mentioning.