Reply To: SHADCHANS POINT OF VIEW

I am going to discuss 1 issue which is causing a big problem.Parents must sit down with theis sons who are coming back from Israel .These sons have never had a discussion with their parents about what they are all about.These parents think they came back from Brisk,Yagdil,Mir,R”Shalom and the other yeshivos as such and they think their sons are going to be long term learners ,become rosh hayeshivas and are the metzunim of the yeshiva.Many of them are fine good erliche boys who are going to learn for a couple of years which that is another topic,and who dont need a shver that will support them and commit themselves for 10 years.Parents please get to know your boys .Have a honest talk with them without putting pressure on them thatthey can say what is really on their minds.You will be alot happier and so will your son.The girls are home if parents have seichel they talk with their daughters before seminary after they com home from seminary and they have a chance to come down to earth.Parents need to have seichel also.Please get to know your children well before you start looking for a shidduch for them.