MP – I was very young when my younger sister died and we were all broken. I remember on the way back from the funeral my father saying she was like an angel and we were blessed to have her for 17 years. I truly believe that that introduction to having emuna at difficult times is what gave me the ability to survive other traumas and the recent pain of losing both parents and my other sister in such a short span of time. I don’t know how else I would have survived without believing that this was right. Flitters in my mind of medical negligence, etc which could take over my life, trying to find people to hold responsible etc. It frees me of all of that. Though I don’t feel these challenges have harmed my emuna, I often struggle with the concept that I don’t deserve any of the good Hashem gives me and I worry about how much I owe in return. I sometimes fear the future pains I will be required to endure for my own benefit Suffering has strengthened me but I still have a long way to go.
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