wondering – I can only speak for my own experience. My little sister lived in chronic pain for years (chronic hepatitis and all its lovely side problems). One thing after another would appear, each was bad enough, and a new thing appeared. The worst for me to watch was something called cluster headaches. They put migraines to shame and have no real treatment. They last for months and are triggered by sleep so she would live in dread of night. Second only to this was the pain of being an older single with no visible end in sight. I sometimes wished I could close my eyes and pretend her pain would disappear. She didn’t complain and accepted Hashems gifts but I as a big sister was pained beyond belief. I only give these details to give you a reference from where I am answering.
Did I cry sometimes begging Hashem to make her life better? You bet. Did I wonder how we would survive this test? Sure. I begged Hashem to make it a temporary test, I begged Hashem to lessen my pain by healing her. I wondered what the big picture could possibly be. But in regard to acceptance – I accepted that this was her big picture. I assumed that there were lots of years and lives before hers that went into the making of this path. I knew that her attitude toward her nisayon would win her a huge prize in Olam Haba. She once said (on a really bad day) “Either Hashem hates me, or he has something really great in store for me in the future”. She NEVER asked why. And when she died at 40, it left me broken and dazed, but sorry only for myself. I envy the spot she must have near Hashem. I envy her ability (I assume) to tip those scales in her favor with all the suffering and all the willingness to accept it. I believe that acceptance of her suffering does not mean being okay with experiencing it. But I accept it.
I hope this makes some sort of sense. I realize I am making myself very vulnerable by writing it here but if I can give chizuk to any one moment of a persons life it is worth it to risk it.