Let’s define covering your hair and dressing modestly from years ago versus today. Thirty years ago, a woman could consider herself a refined Torah observant woman if she wore a hat or scarf, and wig wearers were rare. Her elbows and knees showed in those pictures of the sixties which today would be considered unacceptable. Yet these women sent their children to be educated in bais yaakovs and their daughters were welcomed. Today, a woman who does not cover her hair, elbows and knees will not have her daughters accepted at a Bais Yaakov. Were those mothers of the past less frum? Less refined? Today a woman who wants her refined daughter to learn in a Bais Yaakov but wears a too long sheitel or hanging earrings, or even high heels will probably not have her daughter accepted. I know of a mother who was wearing a hoodie and was told that if she appeared in that on the street, her daughter would not be accepted the following year to a bais yaakov. There are so many rules today as to what is considered the proper clothing. Some BY’s only permit a certain type of denier (thickness) of nylon, some want the skirt to be exactly three inches below the knee and not more because then the skirt is too long. The point is that based on all of these criteria, a girl will or will not be accepted into a BY. This is not Torah. This is hypocritical. The girl may truly desire to become close to Hashem, to get educated in Torah, and she will be rejected because she wore hoops earrings instead of studs, a jewel neck long sleeved t shirt instead of a shirt with a collar? (It happens) More and more kids find these things ridiculous, and feel that this is not based on true halacha. And when they are rejected for their chitzonious it leaves a scar. And the rules just keep getting crazier by the year. And when a child feels unwelcomed by the frum community they leave. We should never be rejecting a Jewish child! Especially for such reasons. Every child needs to be accepted for who they are at the moment, and every educator needs to understand that people are works in progress. And that the values we teach and emphasize should be great middos, and not overly emphasize that a girl deserves rejection because she wore the wrong ______________. OTD kids are just sick of the whole thing-I know this from the many girls I have met that have spoken to me about why they left………
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