I am involved in kiruv work, and I work with OTD kids. Sadly at times there is some truth to accusations they throw at rabbis, teachers, parents, etc. But very often the “stories” they tell of their “horrible” experiences at the hands of the frum world are greatly exagerated, and sometimes completely untrue.
Rabbis, teachers, and parents have to do their best. People who pontificate all kinds of “brilliant” ideas of why kids go OTD are making the mistake of simplifying a very complex problem. So let’s do what we can to help, learn from our mistakes, and stop throwing around blame.