Sam2 –
My advice to you would be to focus more on doing the best you can in every aspect of life, don’t hope for specific things but rather for general things (e.g. happiness rather than 250k a year), and take each day as it comes. Keep praying, but don’t depend on your prayers being answered. ???? ????? isn’t good (in this context). Instead just live your life and do the best you can and try to find meaning in what’s already there. Make plans, set goals – ones that are within your power; and stick to them. It’ll make things much easier. (Smoking also helps, but you didn’t hear me say that…)