Reply To: NASI – The Inside Scoop

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chelsealew
Member

Actually popa_bar_abba, what you say is partially incorrect. Many girls are not as fickle as you think; it sounds to me like you’re a bit bitter about something in this topic. Many very frum girls do not want to marry a learning boy. They appreciate what dedicating one’s life to torah means, however they know that practically that doesn’t always work. Personally, I would not want to marry a learning boy. Not just from the practical side, but also for other reasons. I grew up with a doctor father, two brothers are currently in medical school, and two brothers-in law in other health care professions. Although my siblings and I did grow up in a “working” home, we learnt to appreciate what torah is (my father takes EVERY single opportunity to learn.)Interestingly, one of my brothers in now in kollel. But this mentality didn’t just come from home. In fact, contrary to your beliefs, you’ll find that many girls’ (as well as boys’) schools educate their students as to the aspects of both lifestyles. They don’t put down working (it says in the kesuba that it is a man’s responsibility to support his wife, and if it’s not possible for a man to learn full time due to financial or shalom bayis reasons, it is even recommended that he go out to work-I have this on word of a very well-known Rebbitzen) however they do teach that torah is our blueprint for life, and if one sacrifices one’s life for torah, their merit is great. I know I went off on a little tangent here, but I’m just trying to tell you that there are many very good, frum girls who want to marry a working boy (of course they don’t want someone who’s working just because he hates to learn torah). I think that people who say that the “frummer” girls all want learning boys are just deluding themselves. It happens to be that I know many girls who are Rabbi’s daughters who want to marry working boys, and many not so frum girls who want to marry a learning boy just for the sake of doing what’s “normal” (and of course, as I always say, “normal is just a setting on the washing machin-it’s all relative.”