As I see it there are 2 problems.
1. Nobody wants to give up on anything of there ‘perfect’ list..
2. boys, girls, and parents have there priorities mixed up!
I am a shadchan and I hear this all the time..
He went to the wrong Brisk..
I need a girl from a chassidishe school..(there are chassidish girls in BY too)..
He wears the wrong hat.. the family this.. the family that..
we got to look past the clothes and see if the person is right!
and the mentality of course..those are priorities! midos goes without say!