When our sons were going out we had 20 or 30 resumes in our inboxes.
When our first daughter started dating we got nothin! It was like culture shock.
So we did our Hishtadlus: We took our daughter to three or four different Shadchanim in different neighboring cities and states, and we spread the word amongst our friends that our daughter was in the Parsha.
Six months, eight months – Nothin! One call, she goes out with a disaster, and comes home in tears asking why we put her through that. Oy!
In desperation, I went to our Rov and asked him what we’re doing wrong. His answer – “You’re doing everything exactly right. You did your Hishtadlus, and now Daven with Kavonoh, say Tehillim. But now it’s time to have Bitachon and let the Yosheiv U’Mezaveig Zivuggim do His part. Don’t tread on Hashem’s job.”
So my wife and I stopped fretting.
Guess what – three weeks later we get a call from a friend about a nephew of theirs and our daughter is engaged. B”H.
Without wanting to sound overly Frum or pompous, maybe the Shidduch crisis is being caused by a lack of Bitachon. Of course we have to make our Hishtadlus, but if we go overboard (Nasi?) and we enter the realm where it’s Hashem’s job, nothing is going to happen. Hashem will say, “Oh, you think you can do My job? Go ahead – but it’s harder than Kriyas Yam Suf, which you can’t do!”
There IS a Zivug for everyone. Bas Kol Yotzai V’Omer Ploni L’Plonis…” It’s not just a saying – it’s a fact!
But each of us must find the balance between Hishtadlus and Bitachon. If we correctly strike that balance, I really believe the Shidduch crisis will go away.