Reply To: Frustrated Mothers of Girls: Can we hear your ideas

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AZ, I apprciate your reply.

However, I guess we can debate quite a few points…

1. Poverty and sickness (including infertility)ARE indeed communal responsibilities. Since time immemorial there have been Frum Tzedakah organizations taking care of Anyim, and Bikur Cholim organizations taking care of the sick, and we are commanded to seek out a medical attention to enth degree to save lives. That’s not to say that we don’t have to have Bitachon also in these areas, but these communal issues have always been cummunally attended to, and this is our Mesorah.

2. You quote me as saying “To suggest that we do nothing and “have bitachon” that is on fake bitachon on yenems chesbon and a chazar treif hashkafa,” is so far from what I said. I specifically said that we must do our Hishtadlus, we must seek out Shadchanim, and we must spread the word. We should keep on top of things and be aware.

I only question, after that, how much more?

And since when did Shidduchim become a “communal” endeavor. 50 years ago and 100 years ago there were plenty of Bikur Cholim organizations and Tzedaka organizations, but there were no Nasi projects and no communal Shidduch groups – at least none that I can find in any of the history books of Gedolim that I’ve read.

It would therefore seem to imply that this issue is a modern day “crisis” and we have to ask ourselves, how did it come about?

3. You write, “Please don’t blame HIM for our mess ups.” I Chas V’Shalom never ever implied such a thing. Quite the contrary, I speculate – and I stress speculate – that it may be OUR mess up by overstepping our Hishtadlus obligations.

4. I would continue to disagree with you that we need a “communal” initiative. I AGREE that each of us must do, do, do, everything we can for each other, and to pass on every lead, and every possibility – I just speculate that perhaps we are putting too much stock in our own efforts in an area where clearly – from Chazal – and historically – we have to let Hashem do His part.