BS”D
I am going to stick with it for a little while longer, at least another Shabbos until Chai Elul or maybe until a couple of days before Rosh Hashanah since I might want to go away for Yom Tov no matter what.
If I have the same empty feeling I’ve had, and feel as uncomfortable as I have been feeling around all these families with children, and finally realize once and for all that I am totally different from people who believe, then I will have to move on in peace.
That is kind of what I think will happen but I have to go through the motions anyway right now so I might as well try to see if I can work things out.
On the other hand if I am either able to speak to someone or otherwise decide once and for all that it is true, then the only damage that was done is that some people read something online written under a screen name that I hardly use for anything else (except AIM which I have removed because it is so Web 1.0 LOL), and people have done much worse and stayed in the community in the end.