I read that article, and I am surprised at some of the negative reactions. While in the ideal world, boys AND girls would get engaged and married easily without any problems, based solely on internal maalos, the fact is we live in a not so ideal world of gashmius (and gashmius is also an important component of life or Hashem would not have made things appeal to us aesthetically). In that real world, people have to feel some sort of atttraction to each other. If a girl is naturally gorgeous, she will be attractive (physically) to lots of people. Hopefully her middos would match her external appearance, as well.
But when a girl is NOT so gorgeous, maybe just average-looking, or even objectively UNattractive, then she should be making every possible effort to enhance her appearance, so she at least can level the playing field and have a chance to meet those guys, so they can get to know her personality. I do agree it was appalling that the MOTHERS were meeting these girls. There should be a meeting of boys and girls with each other. Otherwise, let the girls’ mothers meet the boys at that same type of event. What’s good for the goose…
The author was very brave and candid in speaking about her personal experience. Far from being derogated, she should be thanked for being so open about herself. I doubt that was an easy admission.
And if getting a nose job, teeth capped/whitenened, hair straightened, getting lap-banded, whatever it takes to make a woman more objectively attractive, is needed and WORKS in getting her married (especially in her 40s), then who are we to say we are upset with that? Better to be upset with a system that encourages girls to become anorexic in their quest to be size zeroes, to please some mother whose son should not even KNOW what a girl’s dress size means. Better to be upset that so many wonderful girls are being taught that it is untzniusdig to be concerned with enhancing their appearance when they clearly are in need of some help in that area. We cannot change the desire for someone to be attracted to his spouse, and he is SUPPOSED to be (certainly not to someone else’s spouse, chalilah). Hashem put that yetzer in us for a reason. But we can and should encourage girls to make the most of what Hashem has given them. That doesn’t mean going overboard, but a little lipstick, blush, mascara, and other cosmetics to cover up acne scars, discolorations, etc. are a good thing. Carefully applied makeup is not the enemy, (especially when you are trying to catch the eye of some boy’s mother).
The author was right on target, IMHO. Didn’t she used to write for the JP years ago, btw???