Scienceprogram, the OP is a newlywed. They have not been married long enough (at least that is what I got from the post) for deep-rooted problems to have developed that cannot be addressed and corrected with a little bit of effort. I agree that not all mothers-in-law are the easiest people, but this particular one,w ho is making the comparisons, is feeling disrespected and uncared for by THIS daughter-in-law. If she would make the effort (the DIL) to call her MIL more often and regularly,as the others are doing (and it really takes VERY little effort, if the DIL really would be honest with herself)and the MIL would STILL have tainos to her, then I would say the MIL is really difficult to please. But that was not what I was getting from that post.
I always try to see the other side of the issue. In this case, the solution is just SO simple, that it is sad if the DIL misses out on the opportunity to something so small that will yield such large rewards. that’s all I am saying. I have been on both ends of the equation, and I speak from my personal experience, true, but being a thoughtful considerate person, should never be something that has to be debated. The younger person IMO still has to show kibud av v’em to her in-laws, and making a cause celebre over doing so, would make me think that the younger person needs to grow up a little. She too will be a MIL someday, G-d willing. The MIL should also work on being a loving mother to her new “daughter.” Again, the son is caught in the middle between the two women he loves, and that is not right.