LovebeingJewish–see the chapter on “being a man” in Garden of Peace by Rav Shalom Arush. He specifically deals with what you’re saying. What he’s saying would have never occurred to me on my own. But I think there’s a ton of wisdom in that book and every married man should read it.
My wife is extremely tired during pregnancy and takes long naps every day. So I do much of the cooking and more of the childcare when she’s pregnant, at least during the first half of the pregnancy.